I. As of late I've started budgeting my time, cigarettes and money. Well, budgeting isn't exactly correct - I'm simply keeping track. (And even that's a lie, I only decided to start keeping track of my cigarettes today).A couple years ago I found myself consistently running short of cash. In response I began an arbitrary budgeting my money. I gave myself twenty dollars a day and told myself not to go over (unless I'd accumulated some from previous days). Although the budget itself was little more than a joke, I did discover something somewhat interesting: simply keeping track of my money made me spend less.
Whenever I tell someone about this, they immediately think that keeping track lowers spending by forcing me to rethink all my purchases. However, this isn't true. There isn't once that I remember abstaining from a purchase because of my budget. To be honest, I'm not sure how it works, but it's definitely not by following the budget or abstaining from purchases.
So far, I'm not doing so hot. As I said in an earlier post, last week I went on two spending sprees for a much needed wardrobe update. I managed to rack up about 400 dollars. I'm pleased with my purchases, but it was disappointing to be not only failing my budget, but massively failing and only on my second day.
II. Would you work 18 extra hours a week for a mere 60 dollars? Well, that's what I've been doing for the past 5 months. Let me explain:
Five months ago I started teaching Friday afternoon classes (which are optional and unpopular). Only now do I fully understand why.
Prior to teaching Friday afternoons, I felt like my week was over by the end of Tuesday. That means that after a mere 12 hours of work a week, I had my mind happily engaging the weekend (perhaps not in reality, but definitely in spirit). This euphoria eventuall culminated into my decision to take on an extra three hours a week.
Because both teaching and attending is optional, you must watch most of your students and coworkers vacate the premises. Even my most fun, interesting and enthusiastic class failed to get past the fact that all their friends were outside enjoying the sun. And who could blame them? My coworkers were, without fail, enjoying beers on a patio somewhere.
As time went on I began noticing my feeling of finality getting pushed further and further back in the week. The initial push was just a day - nothing too severe. A month in and I noticed it slipping through Thursday as well. In the last couple months it finally found its way to the end of Friday - blind optimism and bliss for my weekends were substituted by apathy and disgruntlement.
Although I'm talking to you as a beaten down shell of the man I once was, I'm happy to announce that I've tomorrow afternoon off. Yes, that's right - my Friday afternoon class is no more. It's time to enjoy the rest of August like I've thus far been unable to.
It's quite ridiculous actually - a mere 3 hours of doing what I do and it feels like 18. The mind is a powerful thing - don't piss it off.
III. Apathism: refusing to participate in a general election because either (i) you realize your vote doesn't make a difference and/or (ii) none of the candidates appeal to you.
I think I'll write a book.
I'm in limbo and it sucks. My marks still haven't come in. Last week I was primarily anxious. This week I'm left to the whims of a very concentrated, sporadic set of emotions. There're times when I realize I'm done school and feel like I can take on the world. At others, I feel absolute despair and impending doom. Sometimes I'm completely rational, at others I feel a sort of rage or wrath towards anything in my vicinity. And still others I feel absolutely nothing at all.
